I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We have started to decorate penises.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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