Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He shit in the fireplace
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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