I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
