Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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