I am puke
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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