I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
