if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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