Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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