I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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