evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
