Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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