i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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