therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
