ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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