The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
