dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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