I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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