Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
