no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
