god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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