so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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