I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
