I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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