brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize