I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
