but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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