Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
