toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I woke up under a house in Key West
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
