Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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