There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
