do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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