SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize