her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
