also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
