I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize