hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
