Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
