Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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