ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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