Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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