Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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