When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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