so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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