omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
