I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
