The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
