I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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