Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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