I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
