he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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