Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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