so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
