Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
