I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
When are your genitals available?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
