have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I cockslap morals
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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