I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
