bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
