hotel room ftw
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
