i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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