I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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