You work out of a Hotel?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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