Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
