I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
