The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
