We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
