plz talk dirty to me
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
